We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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