i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
