I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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