SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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