Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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