I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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