if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
