if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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