I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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