I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
