we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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