MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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