Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
