You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
