I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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