need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
