and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
