i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
