On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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