Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
