Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
