I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
