He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
