I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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