so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
