take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
