One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
