How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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