whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
