Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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