i don't like sucking hair
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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