oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
