But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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