got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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