masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
