I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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