People in love make me want to vomit
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
