Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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