i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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