We got so high we made milksteak
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
