you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
