I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
