I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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