I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
