in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
