Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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