He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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