What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
worst night to have a conscience
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
