i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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