we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
God, I missed his penis.
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