yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
