you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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